翻译考试 2020-09-22 22:06:38 翻译考试
[摘要]英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street He was brought to the hospital His wife who was st[db:cate]



1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"


2:You can"t go without me
The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.
   "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.
   "It"s too crowded.You"d better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.
   "But you can"t go withou me.I"m the driver."the man says.



One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What"s the meaning of the word "Drunk", dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there"s only ONE policeman!"


一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:爸爸,字是什么意思?“唔,孩子,父亲回答说,你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。“可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,那儿只有一个警察呀!

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest"s plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?“在捕鼠夹上,先生。那小男孩说。

5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black.When I grow up, I am blackWhen I"m under the sun, I"m blackWhen I"m cold, I"m blackWhen I"m afraid, I"m black.
When I"m sick, I"m black.When I die, I"m still black.you---white people,When you were born, you were pink.When you grow up, you become white.You"re red under the sun.You"re blue when you"re cold.You are yellow when you"re afraid.You"re green when you"re sick.You"re gray when you die.And you, call me "color"?

亲爱的白种人,有几件事你必须知道。 当我出生时,我是黑色的我长大了,我是黑色的我在阳光下,我是黑色的我寒冷时,我是黑色的我害怕时,我是黑色的我生病了,我是黑色的当我死了,我仍是黑色的。你---白种人,当你出生时,你是粉红色的。你长大了,变成白色的。你在阳光下,你是红色的。你寒冷时,你是青色的。你害怕时,你是黄色的。你生病时,你是绿色的。当你死时,你是灰色的。而你,却叫我「有色人种」?

6Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."


7How Many Rabbits?
Teacher:    Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have?
Jonathan:   Nine, sir.
Teacher:    Nine?
Jonathan:   I"ve got one already, sir.


8These Are My Jeans
After going on a dieta woman felt really good about herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago
“Looklook” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband“I can wear my old jeans again
Her husband looked at her for a long timewhen said“HoneyI love youbut these are my jeans


9The mean man"s party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You"re not coming empty-hangded, are you?"


10All I do is pay
"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."
"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?"
"I"m the people. All I do is pay."


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