如何处理人际关系_如何通过人际关系找工作(职场)

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Are you sick of the word "networking" yet? It seems to be on everyone"s lips -- all those millions of people just like you who are looking for a new job.
你是不是已经厌倦了“建立关系网”这个说法？似乎每个人都在说这个——成千上万和你一样想找份新工作的人都是这样。

For most people there"s that luck-of-the-draw feeling about it, especially when you hear stories about how someone was at the right place at the right time. If you"re not a prom queen or golf pro, you"re doomed.
对于大多数人来说，这就是件碰运气的事，尤其是在听到某人如何得了天时地利这类的故事时。你若不是舞会皇后或者高尔夫高手，你就永无出头之日。

Networking is a lot of work. And if everyone is doing it, where"s the competitive advantage?
建立关系网可不容易。如果每个人都这样做，我们的优势又在哪呢？

Here"s the secret: Almost everyone is doing a lousy job of it. Do it well (even if you hate it), and you"re already well ahead of the herd.
诀窍就是：几乎每个人都做得很糟。你能做好它（即使你讨厌这样），你就是领头羊。

1. Going to networking events has all the appeal of visiting a compost pile.
参加鱼龙混杂的社交聚会

Are you a little tired of seeing the same sad-sack faces month in and month out? They"re probably tired of seeing yours. Networking events are a great opportunity to meet people who don"t have jobs. But they"re terrible for meeting people with jobs. (If you were happily employed, would you hang out with this crowd? We thought not.)
每个月都看到同样一脸倒霉相的人，有点烦是吧？他们其实也不想一直看到你。在社交聚会上遇见失业的人是不错，但遇见有工作的人就不那么爽了。（要是你有份不错的工作，你会和这些失业的人来往吗？我们不这么觉得。）

Your fixes: Connections and courage. Make connections beyond these networking-only events. Have the courage to ask for introductions to leaders and experts in your field, to your counterparts in other companies (even your former competitors). Go to every single party you"re invited to.
计策：关系和勇气。在纯社交圈子以外找关系。鼓起勇气，请你在其他公司的同行（甚至是你以前的竞争对手）给你介绍相关领域的高层和专家。参加所有你被邀请参加的单身派对。

2. Your friends cross the street when they see you coming.
街上撞见熟人

You might have burned out your relationships by being so focused on your frustrations in finding a job. Think about your recent conversations.
你可能因为太专注于找工作而冷落了朋友。想想你最近有没有和朋友聊天？

Your fix: Courtesy. It"s natural to use your friends and family as your networking jumping-off place. But if you just use them as immediate connections to a sure-thing job opportunity, you"re going to burn out your friendships pronto.
计策：礼貌。通过朋友和家庭展开关系网是很自然的。不过，如果你仅仅把朋友当成获得一份稳操胜券的工作的快捷通道，友情也会很快冷下来的。

Definitely let them know that you"re looking for work -- there"s no shame there at all. And ask them for introductions to people they might know who would be able to move your search forward.
一定要让他们知道你正在找工作——这没什么不好意思的。问他们是否认识什么人能帮助到你。

Word to wise: When you are introduced to people, remember to thank your friends (thank all of your networking partners, for that matter) with e-mail updates, even formal, handwritten notes from time to time. Everyone likes to see their friends make progress out of a life crisis, and everyone likes to feel appreciated for the part they played in your journey to better times.
箴言：当你被介绍出去时，记得感谢你的朋友（以及帮你找到这些关系的人），随时发电邮，或者更正式一点，手写留言条。每个人都希望看到自己的朋友走出困境，同时也希望收到应得的感谢。

3. You can"t seem to squeeze in the time necessary for networking.
找不出时间来建立关系网。

Let"s face it, right now you probably are more tempted by projects that have a sure-thing conclusion and that will give you the satisfaction of actually accomplishing something. Yet somehow, making those phone calls just never seems to happen.
直接说吧，现在的你很可能更倾向于有确切结果、并能带给你成就感的计划。但是你就是不愿意去打几个电话。

Your fix: Commitment. For starters, commit yourself to making five phone calls a day. Make it easy on yourself: Have a brief script ready to work off of, so you don"t have to start cold with each phone call. Commit yourself to filling your "funnel" of contacts and leads, just like salespeople do.
计策：保证。刚开始，你要向自己保证，每天打五个电话。为免电话中冷场，事先准备一个简短的话题草稿。向自己保证，要像销售员那样遍撒网络。

With every "no" you hear, you still have plenty more phone calls to make and conversations to follow up on ... and no single rejection is ever the end of the world.
每听到一个“不”字，就准备继续打更多的电话，与更多的人谈话……一个拒绝不等于世界末日。

4. You"re doing everything right and your networking still isn"t working.
什么都照做了，但关系网还是不成功。

How do you know it"s not working? OK, so the obvious is indisputable: You still don"t have a job. But with enthusiastic networking filled with a variety of contacts and introductions, you"ve set events in motion that you might not even be aware of: People may be talking about you and brainstorming with each other about whom else to introduce you to; someone might be checking with HR right this very minute to see how a position can be created for you.
你怎么知道不成功？好吧，事实摆在眼前：你仍然没工作。但先前花费不少精力建立的关系网已经运转起来了，只是你还察觉不到：人们可能正在谈论你，想着还有什么人可以介绍给你；就在这一刻有人也许已经在和人事部商量，给你一个什么职位好。

Your fix: Patience. These things take time. But your alternative, which is to not network at all, will get you nowhere.
计策：耐心。这种事需要时间。想想你其他的选择：完全不建关系网难道更有用吗？

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