【www.jianqiaoenglish.com--英语阅读】
MOST women dream of finding a handsome man to live with happily ever after.But as the years roll on, do they give up on the idea of true romance and settle for Mr OK instead of Mr Perfect?
According to American author Lori Gottlieb, single women over 30 should forget the fairytale or face a lonely, childless future.
Her book, Marry Him: The Case For Settling For Mr Good Enough, has created a storm in the US, as it rubbishes the idea of there being The One and accuses romantic films of betraying women by encouraging them to hold out for "true love". But would you admit to settling for Mr Not Quite Perfect?
Here, two women tell DULCIE PEARCE why they do just that - and reveal why they stick with their far-from-ideal fellas.
Case 1：Carley and Steve
Family life ... couple with Lucy, top, and Sophia
HOUSEWIFE Carley Dash feels she settled for her Mr OK, scaffolder husband Steve, 30, when they married three years ago.
The couple, from Stamshaw, Portsmouth, have been together for eight years and have two children, Lucy, five, and two-year-old Sophia. Carley, 27, says:WHEN Steve asked me to marry him, I was hesitant.
Although we had a very happy relationship and there was so much I loved about him, I already felt tied down. After a year of dating, we were living together and I was happy to slow things down. But Steve obviously felt the opposite.When we were relaxing at home after a year together Steve produced a Monster Munch crisp as a ring.
At first I thought he was joking and said no - it felt too soon to be making that commitment.
Steve convinced me it was the natural step in our relationship and I didn"t think there was any harm in saying yes. After all, we couldn"t afford to get married immediately.
Although I felt sure I loved Steve, this was not how I"d envisaged my Mr Perfect proposing. I imagined it would be with romance and diamonds.However, I pushed these thoughts to the back of my mind, as I knew I didn"t want to be single and alone.
Three years later, I fell pregnant with Lucy. We hadn"t planned the pregnancy and although it felt too soon, I"d always wanted children.
After leaving school, I"d been working as a shop assistant, saving up to do a hairdressing course at college.But I put those plans on hold while I devoted myself to motherhood. Having Lucy brought us closer together.
Steve took to being a father straight away and I felt proud watching him devote himself to our daughter - taking her to the park on Saturday mornings and dancing around the house making her laugh. We eventually tied the knot in August 2007.
We had a child, so it seemed like the right thing to do, but I never felt that it was the whirlwind romance I had always imagined.
We planned our second daughter Sophia, so there wasn"t a big age gap between the kids.
I look at Steve and my life and although I love him and my daughters dearly, I know he is not my ideal man. We have both changed over the years and become stuck in a rut.
Nowadays, we"re like ships passing in the night. Steve goes to work at 5am, I take Lucy to school and come back to look after Sophia and then we sit on the sofa watching television every night. We hardly even have sex any more.
I"m always clearing up after Steve and he"s very impatient with me.
However, I know that Steve loves me in his own special way. He pops down to the shop to get me chocolate late in the evening if I have a craving and brings me up a cup of tea to bed.He"s also brilliant with the kids and that"s our main focus in life.
It"s depressing, but I think most women do settle for Mr Not Quite Right.
I think we"re the more needy sex and we"re conscious of our biological clocks ticking. I"m looking forward to when Sophia starts school so I can start my career as a hairdresser and have more in my life than being a wife and mother.
When I was young, I saw myself being wined and dined by a man who bought me presents and flowers.But Steve never takes me out for dinner and, regrettably, we never spend any quality time together.
I know Steve"s not my Mr Perfect, but I"ve come to accept that no relationship is perfect.Everybody has issues, and at 27 I"d certainly rather be in this relationship than by myself.I do think there"s a Mr Right out there for everybody but unfortunately you never know when and where you"re going to find them. It"s safer just to get on with life.
Steve says: "When I met Carley I knew she was the one for me and I dedicated myself to the relationship.When she became the mother of my children, I loved her even more.Every couple I know have their ups and downs - that"s just part of being in a relationship.I realise that I"m not perfect for Carley and although she has her flaws I want to be with her forever."
Case 2：Lucy and Elliot
“I keep expecting my forever fella to turn up” ... Lucy with Elliot
WHEN Lucy Bridgewater started dating Elliot Staley eight years ago, she thought the relationship would never last. But as the years rolled on, Lucy, 30, abandoned the idea of finding her Mr Right and settled for her Mr Fine For Now.
Accountant Lucy and Elliot, a 29-year-old car salesman, live in Southsea, Hampshire. She says:"WHEN I met Elliot I was 22 and dreamed of being with someone who was blond, blue-eyed and muscly, with an impressive job and loads of money.
Obviously it was a complete fantasy but I was determined the next man I"d date would tick those boxes.
Elliot didn"t tick any, but I still thought he was a lovely bloke. Before I knew it we were seeing each other.
He was really great company, but I certainly didn"t think he was The One.On our first date he took me to a noisy nightclub, whereas my Mr Right would have taken me for a romantic candlelit dinner.
Elliot was Mr Fine For Now not Mr Forever.
I always thought that I would have loads in common with the man I ended up with but Elliot and I are completely different.
He eats meat and I"m vegetarian. He"s never once done the housework and I"m a total clean freak.
I exercise all the time and love the gym, but Elliot can"t think of anything worse.
He also smokes, which is a habit I can"t stand. The things he does enjoy doing, like his hobby of DJ-ing, drive me mad.It"s so geeky when he and his friends start talking about music.But although I kept expecting my forever fella to turn up, before I knew it I was 28 and still dating Elliot.
I"d spent years thinking someone else would come along, but now that I"m 30 it has dawned on me it might not happen.
I certainly don"t want to be single, and although he"s not my perfect bloke on paper I do love Elliot and our relationship has lots going for it.
He"s gets on with everyone and I love the fact he gets me to try new things.Because we"ve been together for so long now, we also have lots of wonderful memories and a real history together.I don"t really believe in marriage so I don"t think we"ll ever tie the knot.
But I"ve made the decision to settle with Elliot.Even if someone better was round the corner, deep down I know that this is it for me. I could do a lot worse than Elliot.
Elliot says: "I may not have been Lucy"s typical Mr Right at the start, but it"s my "not so right" attributes that have meant we have enjoyed the past eight years together.We have the longest relationship among our friends and get on really well, so I must be doing something right."
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