【www.jianqiaoenglish.com--英语笑话】
笑话是一个汉语词汇，拼音是xiàohua，意思是引人发笑的话或事情。笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。以下是小编收集整理的英语笑话的作文范文十八篇，仅供参考，希望能够帮助到大家。
第1篇: 英语笑话的作文
急诊Help! Doctor
”Help! Doctor! Please come quickly! My ten-year-old son has just swallowed a pen!“
”Ok, I"ll be right there. I"ll be there in 10 to 20 minutes.“
”Good, but...what am I supposed to do in the meantime?“
”Just use another pen!“
“医生，救命!请您快点儿到，我十岁的儿子刚刚吞掉了一支钢笔!”
“好，我十几分钟就到，”
“好的，那……这十几分钟我应该做什么呢?”
“换支笔用!”
第2篇: 英语笑话的作文
Returning from a golf outing(远足，短途旅行) , my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?
Uncle Richie and I don"t play golf to win, my husband hedged(避免作正面答复) . We just play to have fun.
Undaunted, Sare said, Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?
丈夫打完高尔夫球回来，我们四岁的女儿莎拉在门口迎了上去。爸爸，谁赢了高尔夫球比赛，是你还是理查叔叔?
我和理查叔叔打高尔夫球不是为赢，丈夫推诿说。我们打球只是为了好玩而已。
莎拉毫不气馁，又问：那么，爸爸，谁觉得更好玩呢?
第3篇: 英语笑话的作文
One day a ten-year-old child asked his mother, “Mom, what is a synonym(同义词) ?”
“What? You even don"t know what a synonym is? How foolish you are. When I describe you as foolish, I mean you"re silly, stupid. Now you know what a synonym is ?”
“Yes, a synonym is using bad language.” The child concluded.
第4篇: 英语笑话的作文
其实学英语也能闹出很多笑话，那些笑话想起来连肚皮dou要笑破了！不过，你可千万不要在吃饭的时候读，否则你的书就被喷得满页都是饭。
有一次，老师要求我们说出一些常见的动物。比如：猫呀、狗呀。突然，我想到了老鼠（mouse），举手站起来就说“mouth”，老师一听，笑了起来。有同学问：“老师您为什么笑啊？”老师说， 我把老鼠说成了嘴巴，我一听，满脸通红。同学们都笑了起来，谁让它们发音这么接近呢。
还有一次，老师让我们用英文说一句话：我有一些香蕉，妈妈有一个西瓜。有一个同学站起来说：“I have some bananas，my murder has a watermelon。”用中文翻译是：“我有一些香蕉，我谋杀（妈妈）有一个西瓜。先是班级全体沉默，接着便是一阵哄堂大笑。
我们学英语的过程中还有许多有趣的事情，也让我们对英语产生了浓厚的兴趣。
第5篇: 英语笑话的作文
A friend was trying to encourage his elderly mother to enjoy the money, she had accumulated through frugal living. ”Mother,“ he said, ”you have enough money to last you until you"re a hundred.“
”And then what"ll I do?“ she replied.
一位朋友试图劝他的老妈妈要享用钱，她通过节俭的生活攒下了钱。“妈妈，”他说，“你有足够的钱能让你用到一百岁。”
“到了一百岁又该怎么办?”她回答。
第6篇: 英语笑话的作文
我教老师I Taught the Teacher
Mother asked her little boy:”Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?“
”Nothing, Mum, answered the son proundly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three.“
母亲问她年幼的儿子：“宝贝，今天老师教了你些什么?”
“儿子骄傲地说：什么都没教，妈妈。她反倒问我一加二等于几，我告诉她等于三。”
第7篇: 英语笑话的作文
one day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. the city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. the city man said to the farmer,” i see that your pig likes apples, but isn“t that quite a waste of time?” the farmer replied,“ what”s time to a pig?“
第8篇: 英语笑话的作文
A bar owner locked up his place at 2 a. m. and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang.“ What time do you open up in the morning ?” he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire.
在凌晨两点，酒吧店主锁了店门，回家睡觉。他刚躺下几分钟，这时电话响了。“你早上几点营业?”他听到一位明显已醉醺醺的男子的声音。
The owner was so furious, he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. A few minutes later there was another call and he heard the same voice ask the same question. “Listen,” the owner shouted ,“there"s no sense in asking me what time I open because I wouldn"t let a person in your condition in-”
店主非常气愤，砰地一声挂上电话又上床去睡。几分钟后又有一个电话，他听到还是那个声音问同样的问题。“听着，”店主嚷道，“不要问我什么时候营业，因为我不会让你这种人进----”
“I don"t want to get in,” the caller interjected. “I want to get out“
我不是想进来，”那人打断他的话，“我要出去。”
【注释】
(1) obviously adv.明显的
(2) inebriated adj.酒醉的
(3) slam v.砰然放下
(4) interject v.突然插话
第9篇: 英语笑话的作文
Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics?”
Father(a veteran politician)：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one.”
Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours?”
Father：“A convert，my son.”
【译文】
什么叫叛徒?
有希望的青年人：“父亲，什么叫政治叛徒?”
父亲(一位老资格的"政治家)：“叛徒指的是离开我们党而加入到另一个党的人。”
有希望的青年人：“那么，离开他的党而加入到我们党的人又叫什么呢?”
父亲：“叫改变信仰者。我的儿子。”
第10篇: 英语笑话的作文
谁在打架? Who was fighting?
Who was fighting?
谁在打架?
Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?
Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
Mother: That"s a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
妈妈：弗雷迪，你的脸为什么那么红?
弗雷迪：我刚才在大街上跑，为的是阻止一次打架。
妈妈：你做的"对，谁和谁在打架。
雷迪：我和杰克·史密斯。
第11篇: 英语笑话的作文
A: I have the perfect1 son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn"t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn"t.
B: Does he ever2 come home late?
A: No, he doesn"t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
A：我有一个很完美的儿子。
B：他抽烟吗?
A：不抽。
B：他喝威士忌酒吗?
A：不喝。
B：他会不会很晚回家?
A：不会。
B：我想你确实有一个完美儿子。那他多大了?
A：下个星期三就满6个月了。
第12篇: 英语笑话的作文
父亲在哪
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
”Look,“ said the elder brother. ”How nice these paintings are!“
”Yes,“ said the younger, ”but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?“
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, ”Obviously he was painting the pictures.“兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀!”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”
哥哥想了一会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
两个猎人
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing.
The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help.
The operator said calmly:”First, you should make sure that he is already dead.“
Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:”What should I do next?“
两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。
另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。
接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办?”
不是我的错
It"s not my fault
Mother (reprimanding训斥，谴责 her small daughter): You mustn"t pull the cat"s tail.
Daughter: I"m only holding it, Mom. The cat"s doing the pulling.不是我的错
妈妈(正教训她的女儿)：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
第13篇: 英语笑话的作文
Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, What"s the time, please?
After a few months, Dan said to himself, I"m not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I"m going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here. Then he did so.
Now people aren"t going to stop and ask me the time, he thought happily. But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, Is that clock right?
丹在一个大城市的某个俱乐部当守门人。每天都有数千人经过他的门口，而且许多人都会停下来问他:请问现在几点?
几个月后，丹想：我不想再回答这些蠢人提出的问题了，我要去买一只大钟，把它挂在这儿的墙上。于是他买了一只钟，把它挂在了墙上。
现在人们总不会再停下来问我时间了。他高兴地想。可是打那以后，每天仍有许多人停下来，看看钟，然后问丹：这钟准吗?
第14篇: 英语笑话的作文
英语笑话：聪明与和平
Once God came up to me and granted me a wish.
I asked for world peace. That"s impossible, he said.
Then I asked him to give me brains. He said, Let me try world peace.
有一次上帝来到我面前答应了我一个愿望。
我说我要世界和平。“那是不可能的”他说。
然后我请让我变聪明。他说：“你还是让我试试让世界和平吧。”
英语笑话：变相收费
Customer:Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee.It will be wonderful if you serve me coffee free of charge today.
Waiter:“Yeah,you can have a free coffee.But we will charge your money for the seat and the cup 。
顾客：“每天你都会收我喝咖啡的钱，要是今天咖啡免费呐就太完美了”
服务员：但是我们会向你收位子占用费和使用杯子的费用。”
英语笑话：生日 Birthday
Birthday
Professor: When is your birthday?
Kid: May 30.
Professor: Which year?
Kid: Every year.
生日
教授：你的生日是什么时候?
孩子：5月30日。
教授：哪一年?
孩子：每年都是。
第15篇: 英语笑话的作文
One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their nigh clothes. Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.
“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don’t think of money when they’re afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find.No one will be poorer because I took them.” “You don’t know my work，” said the other. “What is your work?” “I’m a policeman.
“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work?”“No，”said the policeman. “I’m a writer. I’m always telling stories about things that never happened.”
【译文】
你知道我是干什么的吗?
一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。 两个人站在外面，看着大火。
“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。” “你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。 “你是干什么的?”
“我是警察。”
“噢!”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道。”警察说。 “我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”
趣味英语：笑话三则之 Who is the laziest
Father:Well,Jack,I talked with your teacher today .And now I want to ask you a question ,Who is the laziest person inyour class ?
Jack:I don`t know ,father.
Father:Oh,think!When other boys and girls are reading and wirting ,who sits quietly and only watch how other people word?
Jack:Our teacher ,father.
【译文】
谁是最懒惰的
爸爸：杰克，我今天已经和你的老师谈过了，现在我想问你，谁是你们班上最懒的人?
杰克：我不知道，爸爸
爸爸：你再好好想想，当别的同学都在读书写字的时候，谁楞在那儿仅仅是看着其他人?
杰克：是我们的老师，爸爸
第16篇: 英语笑话的作文
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.
After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
”Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.“
Watson replied, ”I see millions and millions of stars.“
”What does that tell you?“ Holmes asked,Watson pondered for a minute.
”Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
“What does it tell you?” Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
“Watson, you idiot. Somebody has stolen our tent!”
第17篇: 英语笑话的作文
A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?
Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?
是哪两个词?
一个非常和蔼的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。我亲爱的"，老夫人说，我希望你能帮我一个忙。我要你答应永远不要用两个词，一个是“讨厌的”，另一个是“极好的”。你能答应我吗?
噢，当然，奶奶。女孩说：是哪两个词?
第18篇: 英语笑话的作文
To prevent our dog, Lacy, from pestering visitors to our house, my mother often massaged her as she lounged beneath the kitchen table, her favorite resting spot. One day a contractor came over to talk about a home-improvement project.
为避免我们的狗，莱希，纠缠来访的客人，我母亲常在爱犬喜欢呆的地方，即餐桌下面，摩昵它。一天，一个建筑商来谈居室装潢工程。
As he and my mother sat across the table discussing the renovations, my mother slipped off her shoes and mindlessly soothed Lacy with her feet.
在这人和我母亲坐在餐桌边谈居室的修茸时，我母亲滑脱了她的鞋子，开始不经意地用脚摩蹭起莱希来。
My mother had been talking for about a half-hour when to her great embarrassment she heard Lacy bark outside the front door.
谈话进行了半个小时的时候，我母亲突然感到很不好意思起来，因为这时她听到了莱希在前门外的犬吠声。
【注释】
(1) prevent (from)v.避免;阻止
(2) pester v.使苦恼;困扰
(3) massage v.按摩;揉捏
(4) lounge v.懒洋洋地坐着或站着
(5) contractor n.承包商
(6) improvement n.改进;改善
(7) renovation n.修复;修理
(8) slip off滑脱;掉
(9) mindlessly adv.不注意地
