翻译考试 2020-09-21 22:06:43 翻译考试
[摘要]1、Good use of cry 哭的妙用The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film When they walked i[db:cate]


1Good use of cry 哭的妙用

The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film.

When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them,

you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refund

you the tickets.” About half an hour later, the husband

asked his wife, “What do you think of the film?”

I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered.

It’s not worth seeing.”

I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said.

Wake the child up and let him cry.”


2What a Smart Wife家有笨妻

A newly married woman was sitting on a chair,

looking vexed, when her husband came home.

"What"s up? Why do you look so troubled?"

the husband asked. The woman replied,

"I"m so sorry. I was ironing your new suit and

burned a hole in your trousers." And the man said,

"That"s all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same."

"Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair,"

the wife responded.



3Endearing terms


Bernie was invited to his friend"s home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."


4Are you a normal person?你是正常人吗?

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director ..., "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?" "Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup." "Noooooooo!" answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

参观一所精神病院的时候一个参观者问院长,“你们是用什么标准来决定一个人是否应该被关进精神病院呢?” “呃… …”院长说,“是这样,我们先给一个浴缸放满水,然后我们给病人一个调茶匙,一个茶杯和一个水桶去把浴缸里面的水放清。” “噢,我明白了”, 参观者说。“一个正常人会选择水桶, 因为水桶比茶匙,茶杯的体积大。” “错了”,“院长回答”“正常人会把浴缸塞子拔掉”。


Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them.

One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?"

His friend replies: "I don"t have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."




6Another 40 Years to live


A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn"t recognize you."

一名中年妇女心脏病突发被送到了医院, 在手术台上,濒临死亡之际,她看到了上帝, 于是,她问上帝是不是她的日子到头了。 上帝回答说,“还没有,你还能活43年,2个月零8天。” 身体快要康复的时候,这名女士想到自己还要活那么多年,得好好对待自己,于是决定先不出院,而是去给自己整整容,吸吸脂,隆隆胸,然后还做了一个腹部拉皮和其它一些美容美体手术。 她甚至还请人到医院里面帮她头发给染了。 做完最后一个手术,这位女士出院了, 但就在过马路的时候,她被一辆风驰电挚赶回医院的救护车给撞死了。 再一次,她又站到了上帝的面前,她大惑不解地问上帝,“我记得你说我还能再活40年?” 上帝回答,“那个时候我没认出你来”。


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